What We Are

I have heard that You are patient,
and You are kind, and You are gentle.
I hope so.
 
I suppose - if You still want me after all
this time, how could You be
anything else?
 
There are many things
I do not know. But I do know
that I am afraid.
 
Yet they tell me that
You are safe, and 
You are Shelter, and
You are Protector.
 
I hope so.
 
Even You have said, that
Your name is I AM.
Oh how I hope that You Are -
that You Are everything I am not.

Wiser Than God

How many failures and pardons
must there be
before I declare my redemption
complete?
 
How may tsunamis and shipwrecks
shall overcome me
before I walk those shores
for which I long?
 
How many days -
Oh how long will it be -
Until I am not wiser
than God?

demons and Divinity

I hear the demons

demand –

“who are you, little human,

that you dare think you could ever

change?”

But my dear –

they have the question twisted

all wrong.

Now it is I who ask you,

“Who do you think I am,

that I could not transform

you?

Who do you think you are,

that you could never be

so transformed?”

demons and Divinity

I hear the demons

demand –

“who are you, little human,

that you dare think you could ever

change?”

But my dear –

they have the question twisted

all wrong.

Now it is I who ask you,

“Who do you think I am,

that I could not transform

you?

Who do you think you are,

that you could never be

so transformed?”

demons and Divinity

I hear the demons 
demand
“who are you, little human, 
that you dare think you could ever 
change?” 
But my dear - 
they have the question twisted 
all wrong. 
Now it is I who ask you, 
“Who do you think I am, 
that I could not transform 
you? 
Who do you think you are, 
that you could never be 
so transformed?” 

Fragility

Must we summon such strength
to reveal our fragility?
Surely a recklessness beyond reason
must be required to acknowledge it -
for who would willingly disclose,
that our weak and supposedly
feeble spirits are in fact
beyond our control?
 
Such bold and foolish
wisdom which you have shown at last,
my failed impostor!
What a fearful and desperate
courage has filled you,
my friend!
 
You have gained my undying admiration.

Guard Your Peace

Guard well your peace, child
this rising fire in your heart.
And do not chain it to any supposed fortress
for such creatures are not meant to be tamed.
Watch for it, follow it,
demand its shelter, yes,
dare to defy even your own contempt
of such need as you have discovered
in your own soul!
 
The morning sunshine
holds no malice toward you, but even so . . .
have a care for your life.
It depends on Him just as desperately
now, as in yesterday’s battle.
Indeed, perhaps more so.
 
The ghosts hide from the light,
but you know not where.
So mark the sun’s rising. Fix your gaze
there and turn not away, turn not
away from your Life.
 
Guard well your peace, child,
yes, make war to remain within its borders!
There is no better land
where you may rest
your weary heart.

Midnight Confessions

Midnight must be the time 
when all the stories I cannot utter
come out from the shadows
to proclaim themselves from the rooftops.
Sleep, is free
to roam where she will, while I
am allowed only the posture
of peaceful rest.
Sometimes,
even that pittance is more
than I can bear.

They Said

“She is on a beautiful journey to healing" - 
they said.
But do you see me right here?
Can you fathom what I have done?
This night I have strangled my soul
once more, a little tighter
but still I breathe. What life
is this that I have chosen? An existence
I cannot justify - an exhausting pursuit
for which I was not created.
                                               
I am told
by the compassionate ones that life, my life -
could be beautiful. For this they say,
was I born.
But tell me now -
have you looked at what I have done?
Can you comprehend the shambles it has left
of my soul? I do not know
what has become of my journey,
but I cannot call it beautiful. I have given away
my beauty and I do not know
where to find it.

Amputation

Maybe -
if you cut off my hands and
sucked out my brains,
then this would stop.
But until then
I am just one more worm
stuck on the proverbial hook
waiting
until some poor fish is also
swindled of his life
in exchange for a snack.